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A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.

While my husband spent most evenings catching up on the horse racing he'd recorded over the weekend, I began perusing chatrooms – not in pursuit of cybersex necessarily, but initially more for harmless flirtation, a little virtual attention.

I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.

And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

I am a single woman who is on a couple of dating sites and I’m fed up with a trend! Before you think about his needs or what he needs to learn, where do you stand? However, my bias here is that a man who leads with talk about sex really isn’t interested in what you think. Do not continue to get to know someone who disrespects your limits. Here are some things you can say: Just because everyone is seemingly talking about sex right away doesn’t mean you need to.

I chat with men online and within 2-3 sentences they turn it into sex!! He’s showing you who he is so believe him and move on. You get to decide what interests you, what you’re comfortable with, and what attracts you.

And it's easy to grow apart because you're not sharing day-to-day life.

That said, I know people who had HUGE distances between them and survived that and ended up committed and together.

Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?That being said, I know it’s important for people to speak their truth and that part of that truth is not just communicating your lack of interest but that you find such talk so early on offensive. Don’t let what everyone else is doing change or influence your personal boundaries or limits.What if you are still interested in talking but just not about sex? You might think that if you say no to every man who mentions sex in the first conversation, you won’t meet anyone.Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?

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